Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

To find love, give love first.

Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it.

If you give a good thing to the world, then over time your karma will be good, and you'll receive good.

Most people dont know that Ill eat anything spicy. A little extra kick is always a good thing!

On my morning run, I listen to sports talk radio.

it would be lovely to sleep in a wild cherry-tree all white with bloom in the moonshine

I waive the quantum o' the sin, The hazard of concealing; But, och! it hardens a' within, And petrifies the feeling!

We think computing ought to be like a telephone or a water tap or a light switch.

Those whom true love has held, it will go on holding.

I do think you're mad and I'll still go with you.