Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

As we get better at knowing God’s love, we grow into better things that surround our lives.

I can count the number of dates I've had on one hand. I wish that guys would approach me but they don't.

In school all I wanted to do was build technology. That's what I loved.

Trips are part of humanity. Emigration is a part of humanity. And it's ever more dynamic due to globalization.

When I am performing, I try to follow the advice I give to my students. This can be very hard - I was never a good student and I find I'm no better when I am the teacher.

That's why you need the war on drugs to put all these pot smokers in prison so that the prisons remain full and the corporations remain profitable. It's a slippery slope.

The party line is that stocks historically have outperformed all other investment plans.

Listen, I'm not cool. Being cool is about keeping your blood pressure steady. So no. Don't be cool. Be passionate. Be dedicated. Be tenacious. Be uncompromising. Be pissed. Be happy. Be sad.

We keep secrets from ourselves that all along we know.

We walk ourselves into ruts so deep we cannot see over them.