Some people think it's demeaning to victims if you ever say anything out-loud about sexual abuse of children. I don't know if that's true.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

There is no hope even that woman, with her right to vote, will ever purify politics.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

When I was maybe 5 or 6 years old, the neighborhood girls would sit on the stoop and sing. I was known as the kid who had a good voice and no father.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

I would still give my left ball to write anything as good as OK Computer.

I dress for myself because when I feel good, it doesn't matter what other people say. I think it's all about confidence and the way you carry yourself that draws people to you.

Every nation is destined, by the law of God and humanity, to form a free and equal community of brothers.

A neoconservative is a liberal who's been mugged by reality. A neoliberal is a liberal who's been mugged by reality but has refused to press charges.

I cannot think of a better definition of Christianity than that: give, give, give.

A lot of what inspired many musicians is celebrating differences, and people relate to that - more people feel like the unpopular, freaky one than the one in the in-crowd.