Some people would say we're already under attack by aliens - not space aliens, but illegal aliens.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people.

Hedge funds have made massive leveraged credit bets, knowing that their upside is billions in fees and their downside is millions in fees.

To a man with an empty stomach food is god.

Only speak words that make souls stronger.

My father was a Norwegian tenor and my mother a New York Irish librarian.

Different people have their ways of measuring success, maybe it's not the right way but wrong's what I do best.

Lord, what if I miss You? What if I miss You? What if I miss You? Oh, I'm so scared! God, what if I miss You? He answered simply, "Joyce, don't worry; if you miss Me, I will find you.

I want to tell stories for everyone, primarily.

People are always looking for something to hate on. If this is something for them to target and hate on, that's their thing. I look at it as satire.

I cannot tell you how long it takes for your exercise to work. If you haven't seen any results in a year or six months you're doing something wrong.