Some things just strike me as funny. The way things play out just makes me laugh sometimes. It drives my wife crazy sometimes because I'll just be laughing for no reason.

I think a lot of people get into stand-up to be the center of attention, which is perfectly legitimate. But I think I got in there to be heard.

You might not agree with something, but it doesn't mean you don't need to listen to it. White people have to accept that they don't always know about racism.

Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.

I'm of the opinion that if you step on stage and you're not a straight white male, you're automatically making a political statement whether you know it or not.

It doesn't do any good to just be on the side of black people. The funnier comedic position is to be on the side of oppressed people in general.

I feel like you can share as many jokes as you want to because no joke you do on Twitter is ever gonna be so big on Twitter, for the most part, that you can't say it on stage that same night.

If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.

I'm a dad, and that's really important to me, and I realize now that I'm a dad that it's a major part of my identity.

You pretty much have to be bad at it [stand-up] for several years to get good at it, so there's no avoiding embarrassing yourself.

I think the need to go on stage speaks to some sort of a profound psychological deficit, but something that happened when you were a kid. Or something your parents did.

True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.

Art doesn’t bare itself to just anyone, but to believers called artists.

My architecture is the architecture of survival.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Ham smiled. "Cett's going to be furious." Elend shrugged. "He's a paraplegic. What's he going to do? Bite us?

France is a nation devoted to the false hypothesis on which it then builds marvelously logical structures.

There is only one thing in this world, and that is to keep acquiring money and more money, power and more power. All the rest is meaningless.

Purify your heart. Cleanse it. Make it a wake-up routine. Your environment may be harsh, difficult and tumultuous but if you work on your heart, you can be calm amidst all those challenges.

Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige. It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character.

He who wants, but doesn't act, is a pest.