Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

I was alone with myself. And disgusting as I was it was better than being with somebody else, anybody else, all of them out there doing their pitiful little tricks and handsprings.

There’s no way to stand up gracefully when your pants are down around your ankles.

I don't like the showy nationalism - a tattoo, wrapping yourself in a flag - that doesn't matter to me. The way to show your patriotism and commitment is to go and support or play for your team.

Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty. And meet me tonight in Atlantic City

I will have an administrative system where there is no way to extricate red tape.

Identity for me is something that has to be played with and explored, and not become complacent about or uninterested in.

If the Metro general manager, Paul Wiedefeld, says those extra hours for maintenance are necessary to help fix the system and make it safer, then that gets top priority.

Collaboration is when you find somebody who, literally, complements and gets you that you can work with. Collaboration is when you really, really want to work with somebody.

Let your old age be childlike, and your childhood like old age; that is, so that neither may your wisdom be with pride, nor your humility without wisdom.

Monsanto doesn't care about feeding the world. We have to think about the wage slavery of migrant workers and salary slavery of those who are desperately unhappy.