Someone on the internet referred to me as 'that horrible little man who's replacing Rob Lowe', which is hurtful, because I think of myself as a delightful little man.

Any celebrity that goes on Twitter and spouts off, as if we should care what they say, is opening himself or herself up to ridicule by anyone else.

Chris Brown is SUCH a douchebag.

I think if you stand me up next to Rob Lowe, it's like we represent two different species.

Be kind, be all sympathy, For each and every human beingIs forced to fight against himself.

I am always quiet so that I know what to say when I must speak.

True repentance is to cease from sin.

The heart wants what the heart wants

It may not be written in any book, but it is written - You can't go back, you can't repeat the unrepeatable.

A meticulous virtual copy of the human brain would enable basic research on brain cells and circuits or computer-based drug trials.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

[A] high minded gallantry in defense of the foundations of Christian culture.

Live in the layers, not on the litter.

After the Rodgers and Hammerstein revolution, songs became part of the story, as opposed to just entertainments in between comedy scenes.