Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Quiet, ” she hissed at me, her voice shockingly aggressive for such a small person. “Otherwise, I’ll shut you up myself.

Is it wrong to protect your heart?”- Marc (Marked Book #1) page 130

The sky was the yellow color of old cheese and the clouds flew across it, as if they had seen something horrifying in the desert wastes where they had so lately been.

It's when we become afraid of everything and worried about everything that you are never going to reach your highest potential.

Kinsey was six foot five, and he had this leader of men quality.

Human nature is perpetual. In most respects it is the same today as in the time of Caesar. So the principles of psychology are fixed and enduring

I can get a firestorm going anywhere in the United States by saying 'O.J.'

I want to be left alone.

Look, if anyone is scared, I got your back.

Exile is a series of photographs without texts.