Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Let me get this straight. I can't take the vampire with me because if I remove the stake, he can kill us all. Now I can't take the girl because she's what? some kind of ninja witch?

What is arrogant pride (abhimaan)? It is to believe the weight of the body-complex [pudgal] to be one’s own weight. It is to believe that ‘I am Great’.

Most people's greatest regret is not living the life they knew they could live.

No one was getting past him.

I remember, no matter how impossible it seemed that any given day would end, it always did. This one would, too.

I can take just about anyone and make them physically strong.

Outside our comfort zone, though, is where we experience the true awesomeness of God.

It all started when I got injured early in my second season. This turned out to be as difficult emotionally as physically.

Dread is a sympathetic antipathy and an antipathetic sympathy.