Sometimes I sit up late with my thoughts, reluctant to fall asleep and leave my thoughts alone by themselves.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Once, if my memory serves me well, my life was a banquet where every heart revealed itself, where every wine flowed.

We went through this business of me writing out all the parts for these old songs from Gravity and Speechless and we'd been performing that, but we don't do that any more.

I tweet from bed. I love it because it's so quick. And it's funny. But it also leaves a lot of room for error because new people don't sense the sarcasm - there's no sarcasm font.

I find weddings really boring. They give speeches, your aunt kisses you on the cheek, and you're at a boring table. But it's different when it's your own.

It's corruption never been systemic, because a fish rots from the head

The fishhook catches the fish; the truth catches the lie; the death catches the life; the love catches the hate!

All characters come from people I know, but after the initial inspiration, I tend to modify the characters so they fit with the story.

Well, I don't think I've necessarily ever been a passionate football player or a passionate person.

I expect I should be more calloused by now, but I am so sensitive about not ever living up to anybody's worst idea about an actor who is well-known.

It’s been a long time since Sherlock Holmes jumped off that roof - it’s time to reveal the truth about what happened between him and the pavement.