Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Life isn't about finding the answers, life is about knowing there are always more questions.

Let others seek renown in arms; For me wine's wars have greater charms: Then fill the bowl, boy; fill it high: 'Tis better drunk, than dead to lie.

People dont want to talk about death, just like they dont want to talk about computer security. Maybe I should have named my workstation Fear. People are so motivated by fear.

You'll be sorry if you marry a man you don't love.

Writing a great script - not just a good one, but a great one - is almost an impossible task.

I have nothing against women. Some of my best wives were women.

He is all pine and I am apple orchard. My apple trees will never get across And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him. He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors.

Even if your job is a professional singer, we still dork out at home.

If the big rocks don't go in first, they aren't going to fit in later.

Take someone NEW AND WEIRD to lunch today