Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning.

instead of venting my anger, which is really just hurt dressed up for a night on the town, I ask if anyone needs a drink.

The main weapon of the devil is disillusionment

And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?

The wealth of nations is men not silk and cotton and gold.

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

No one could match Howlin' Wolf for the singular ability to rock the house down to the foundation while simultaneously scaring its patrons out of its wits.

Feeling tired should almost never be an excuse, because your body has huge reserves of energy. But if you eat badly, stay out late, drink too much, and so on, you'll pay a price on the course.

Music actually meant something when I started doing it. Too bad I wasn't mature enough to write anything that meant anything.

Music helps set a romantic mood. Imagine her surprise when you say, "We don't need a stereo - I have an accordion."