Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Dig deep for you to discover the misery of success – success has miseries that are hidden in failure and those miseries cannot befriend those who sit at the comfort zone.

When one is just sad one should just be alone.

This punishment of death is the remedy, as it were, of a sick society.

...that is the best-to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.

My children were attacked by the Minnesota media when I was governor.

Doing the right thing daily, compounds over time.

My father cried when I said I wanted to be a chef.

I merged so completely with love, and was so fused, that I became Love and Love became me.

I love the interrelatedness of things.

The art of acting is to be other than what you are.