Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

To whom could I put this question (with any hope of an answer)? Does being able to live without someone you loved mean you loved her less than you thought...?

I am not too worried about the many changes in today's society, but I am rather overly concerned about societies refusal to change from it destructive path!

He traveled the lowland and climbed the mountains

Hope is the last thing ever lost.

For what we think upon, that we become.

No matter how flawed someone else may be, that doesn't give us the right to be less than we are, does it? We are decent people and we repay our debts.

I came up in a small town ghetto and I never did think I'd be a celebrity or famous athlete, I was just loving to play the game of basketball. And I worked hard at everything I did.

I am a big fan of Dos Passos' stylistic ability, his poetic approach to prose, but the ideas presented in the songs are quite different from those which he exemplified.

It's always a good idea to have a nun next to you when you get arrested!

Nothing infuriates an academic more than a talented and successful colleague.