Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school.

There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are.

I feel like I know a lot of music stuff that most people my age don't know, because people that were slightly older were into it.

The town I grew up in was at least fifty percent Jewish, so every weekend in the 7th grade, we went to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.

I've been watching a lot of A&E's 'Intervention.' I know that's sort of depressing, but I love watching it.

You feel like you need to deal with a lot if you're from Cleveland, so you learn to let things roll off your back, and you learn that humor is the best way to deal with it.

I never want to change so much that people can't recognize me.

It is hard to earn the respect of others when you do not respect yourself. Others may find it difficult to enjoy your company if you do not enjoy your own.

Time, and the grand gesture of forgiveness, helps to heal old wounds.

Let pessimism once take hold of the mind, and life is all topsy-turvy, all vanity and vexation of spirit. There is no cure for individual or social disorder, except in forgetfulness and annihilation.

The only reason I became a writer was so I could exist on a piece of paper.

Satan's number one weapon is pride. God's number one defense is humility.

God made only one you and He threw the mold away.

I'm the tower of power, too sweet to be sour. I'm funky like a monkey. Sky's the limit and space is the place!

Funny thing about faith ... it goes a lot faster than it comes.

Saxophone is one thing, and music is another.