Sometimes, to help the people you love, you've gotta commit a felony.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

The greatest scientists are artists as well.

The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable.

God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope.

My number one thing to work on is not being reactive - but appropriateness doesn't come easily to me sometimes.

A lot of harm has come in all eras from people attached to one view of spiritual “truth.”

Refusing to have an opinion is a way of having one, isn't it?

I do a lot of yoga. I practice yoga three or four times a week. It's an escape for me.

I don t get through many pairs. Luckily enough they are very hard wearing.

I have tons of regrets, but I think that's one of the reasons that push people to create things. Out of their angst, their regret, comes the best from artists, painters and writers.

In its power, clarity and shear beauty, Mack Bailey's voice reminds me of no one more than my friend, the late John Denver. I love to hear this man sing.