Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

It is in vain to try and stop a star from rising, even with a ladder.

If you find yourself occasionally or constantly pressured by your friends to live a materialistic lifestyle, you should stay clear from them because they are clearly not your true friends.

Siddhartha considered the ways of the demon, and in that moment he struck.

Give the respect you want to receive; embody the grace you hope to encounter; and help others with no expectations whatsoever.

Other women looked on me as a rival. And it pained me a great deal.

Particularly with schizophrenia you see a lot of concern that these people could escape and kill people, or they could threaten our political order.

I didn't go to Catholic school but I had a tough teacher, a tough math teacher.I remember everything that guy taught me. I really do.

I'm going to be who I am. And if you find it offensive, if you find it to be too tough, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

I really don't like people that go on about getting followed around, I don't like it - there are people in the industry that don't wanna take everything that comes with it. I take it all.

Once I started playing the piano, after my first small competition, I realized that the piano was the right instrument for me.