Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

What an ironic tragedy that an affluent, “Christian” minority in the world continues to hoard its wealth while hundreds of millions of people hover on the edge of starvation!

To fall in love is a legendary action that doesn't need any explanation.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

During those formative times, I really didn't know what was going on, and I was sort of torn in a thousand different directions with how I felt about what I was doing.

Obviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which he bases it

I will just think, why am I singing? Then I will know everything I need to know about what I'm feeling.

Futurism is almost like a vaccination. You inject a little bit of a denatured pathogen to prepare your body in case you encounter it for real.

Genealogists live in the past lane.

Knowledge that is not put into practice is like food that is not digested.