Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Resurrection does not come without crucifixion, and you cannot celebrate Easter without living Good Friday.

You can tell your story any way you damn well please.Its your solo.

Wrong Turn 1 and 2 are pretty interesting films, but they need little more work on special effects!

If you want to know about the Sixties, play the music of The Beatles.

Song of God and Son of Man, there He hangs, bearing pains unutterable, the just for the unjust, to bring us to God.

We lie in order to tolerate our existence and, most of all, we lie to ourselves.

The performances make you want to get back out there and try something new and challenge yourself.

The cup of joy is heaviest when empty.

Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.

I take pride in my life-my wife, my family. I try my best not to have football define the person that I am.