Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

A true diamond never over shadows... it's the brilliance of the subtle shine that's the most attractive.

The courage of one can change the course of all.

All mortals tend to turn into the thing they are pretending to be. This is elementary

Where you are now is the result of your previous overriding thoughts and actions. Tomorrow is still in the making so plant good seeds...

We will see every human beings as Christ and we will help Hindus to be better Hindus, Muslims to be better Muslims, and Christians to be better Christians"(Mother Teresa).

I hope I inspire people who hear. Hearing people have the ability to remove barriers that prevent deaf people from achieving their dreams.

Trying to sneak a fastball by Ted Williams was like trying to sneak a sunbeam by a rooster in the morning.

Going after 'the bad guy' has not been a real issue for me.

It is also interesting to note that the original supermodels are now making a comeback after being dismissed in the Nineties as being 'greedy' by a gaggle of male designers who lived like Sun Kings.

If the Constitution can be used against one, it can be used against all.