Son, heed my instruction, and apply thyself to know women; let thine eyes observe her when she is with another, for what she doeth with him, she will do with thee, also.

Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness.

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.

I never saw a purple cow; I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one.

The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.

Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.

I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been. —Enid Healy

Denial is the way people handle what they cannot handle.

Cheats prosper until there are enough who bear grudges against them to make sure they do not prosper.

The only thing I know as I get older is that I don't really need to be No. 1.

You send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed. No wonder the kids rebel and take pot.

I occasionally go to the gym and I lift free weights, I don't use machines.

I feel like I'm long overdue for a "one for me" movie, so I've got two low-budget indy personal things I'm working on.

I am a homophobe, though a mild and tolerant one, and a racist, though an even more mild and tolerant one, and those things are going to be illegal pretty soon, the way we are going.

That great, mighty current of evolution which is advancing the life of everything in creation is simply invincible - no one can resist it.

There is one unity, unified wholeness, total natural law, in the transcendental unified consciousness.