Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Eloquence dwells quite as much in the hearts of the hearers as on the lips of the orator.

'Do you think that we shall ever be admitted as a State into the Union without denying the principle of polygamy?' If we are not admitted until then, we shall never be admitted.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

As far as my tax returns, you don't learn that much from tax returns.

A civil guest Will no more talk all, than eat all the feast.

So have a day of pleasure Do things that make you smile For .............. you are treasured Today and all the while.

There is too much theology in the Church now, and too little of the Gospel.

Logic pervades the world; the limits of the world are also the limits of logic.

The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!

death should be celebrated...when you put something in the ground you always know where it is