Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Less make-up is better, and it's always better to let your natural beauty shine. Essentially, be happy with your appearance.

I believe in innovation and that the way you get innovation is you fund research and you learn the basic facts.

I enjoyed working with everyone on the cast [of the Ghost Team]. We knew we were making a pretty weird movie.

At Bloomington, Indiana, I was invited to listen to music written in quarter tones for four harps and voices. I had to go out to be sick.

Irish as a Paddy's pig.

The first job of a writer is to be honest.

It is terrible to see someone being beaten up by the English language.

Far off in the red mangroves an alligator has heaved himself onto a hummock of grass and lies there, studying his poems.

The technology is not only the way we change stories, but also changing the relationship to the consumer.

I was never really happy until I became 'Doctor Who'.