Sorry to interrupt myself, but it's the only way I stop talking.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

The color of truth is grey.

Truth can only be found in a person's record of actions, not their list of intentions.

You don't gain authority by raising your voice. You prove you don't have any.

Man is a tireless traveller wandering in the dark valleys of his past!

New technology is not good or evil in and of itself. It's all about how people choose to use it.

I like to do projects in which you can see statistical results. I am very happy for all these small children, who have been the biggest group of victims of iodine deficiency.

While it is important to trash the governor, it should be done in the context of regret, sadness and balance.

At 50, you need to laugh about your age. If you don't, everybody else will do it for you. Happy birthday, old chum!

I've got some issues that nobody can see and all of these emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the light for you it's only right

You can divide my life into two.