Soup is probably a way associated with screwing you outside of a meal.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

We Were young. He didn't love me. He just thought he did. Simple as that.- Blaire Lynn

We will take a few moments and make fun of religious people, and we do this in love. No, we do, because we love to make fun of religious people.

In every life there are events that reshape one's sense of existence. Afterward, all is different and the past is dimmed.

Let there be a door to thy mouth, that it may be shut when need arises, and let it be carefully barred, that none may rouse thy voice to anger, and thou pay back abuse with abuse.

We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in.

Any gastronome who is not an environmentalist is stupid, and any environmentalist who is not a gastronome is sad.

What is the price of a thousand horses against a son where there is one son only?

I'm going to play with physics, whenever I want to, without worrying about any importance whatsoever.

Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect. Be true to your own mind and conscience, your heart and your soul. So only can you be true to God.

My mother's whole family had been from the theater, really. Because I grew up in Hollywood, I wasn't that interested in Hollywood. But the New York theater was completely exotic and fabulous to me.