Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

The trick to writer's block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

The love you share with yourself pays immediate and lifelong dividends of peace.

the rent here may be low but i believe we have it on very hard terms --sense & sensibility

People only care about winners, No one care about losers

I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman.

The highest love of all finds its fulfillment not in what it keeps, but in what it gives.

Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.

People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.

Let us never doubt everything that ought to happen is going to happen.

Liberty, equality - bad principles! The only true principle for humanity is justice; and justice to the feeble is protection and kindness.

I came over here and worked for rock magazines, and I worked for Rolling Stone, which has a very high standard of journalism, a very good research department.