Spread your hate. It'll last a lifetime.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Sacrifice doesn’t mean giving up something for nothing

Time wasters are life wasters

Nothing has to be funny, sometimes I just laugh to unclog my soul.

As Daddy said, life is 95 percent anticipation.

When we organize with one another, when we get involved, when we stand up and speak out together, we can create a power no government can suppress.

I shave without using shaving cream.

You watch people run for president, and a large part of what they say, they don't ever follow through on. But I don't think you can afford to wait on this [trade agreements].

True lovers are as rare as true rebels.

You can't crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them.

Do you know that people fall in love in war and go to school and go to factories and hospitals and get divorced and go dancing and go playing and live life?