St.Patrick's Day is named for St. Patrick, the first guy to feed Guinness to a snake.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Failure is the ultimate motivator, the supreme teacher, and the definitive guarantee of life. Failure is what makes success so addictive.

Children need your LOVE especially when they don't deserve it

They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now if that ain't black folk, I don't know what is.

I really love traveling, I love playing.

Most reporters who come to me get their stories directly from press releases. Very few do what one would consider to be their professional duty.

Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's wife, He would have written sonnets all his life?.

That's just my disposition - to create a situation where you have to come up with something.

I always have an idea in the back of my head, but that goes with anything else that I'm doing. There is a sort of vision behind it.

To be the man, you gotta beat the man!

All I do is read books, really. I worry about that sometimes. I don't seem to have a hobby or anything.