Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan.

Self-worth and financial worth become indistinguishable.

I don't make the stereotypes, I just see them.

If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.

I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.

Azhar Usman is very funny, deeply spiritual, and extremely hairy. He's like Zach Galifianakis meets Deepak Chopra-and funnier than you'd expect that combination to be.

I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.

Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.

I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.

I love being a dad, and I'm a great dad.

What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you.

To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.

My tomb shall be in a spot where the north wind may scatter roses over it.

I trade all my pains for peace of God.

When reality was just tilted on an axis, a world continued to spin. This is me.

When your family is twice as weird as normal, you have to be twice as polite to authority, because authority hates weird.

It is a measure of the framers' fear that a passing majority might find it expedient to compromise 4th Amendment values that these values were embodied in the Constitution itself.

Negative thinking will always lead to failure and nervous prostration; but positive faith- positive thinking -will lead you towards happy, healthy, and abundant living.

We learn from our mistakes, we do some reflection, we lick our wounds, we brush ourselves off - then we go forward, with the presumption of good faith in our fellow citizens.

I'm not a rock star, I'm a soft person.