Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

It hurts when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.Deep inside Where nothing’s fine I’ve lost my mind

I feel like when people judge me they're not judging me, because they don't know who I am.

Liberation from every form of exploitation, the possibility of a more human and dignified life, the creation of a new humankind - all pass through this struggle.

I had a good time working with Russell Crowe, Ron Howard and Ed Harris. It was a great cast and Russell worked really hard, doing tons of research and questioning everything

You are allowed to do this - don't worry about the rules, don't worry about getting into trouble, your job is to take care of the customer. Your job is to make the person leave happy.

I consider it completely unimportant who in the party will vote, or how; but what is extraordinarily important is this - who will count the votes, and how.

Doing a half-hour TV show is a dream

The greatest disorder of the mind is to let will direct it.

Its better to live a goat than 100 sheep.

With the fans and the Toronto Maple Leafs organization, the way I've been treated here has been awesome.