Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

However expressive, symbols can never be the things they stand for.

The construct of retirement is dubious at best and a farce at worst. Expectations contrary to this are to be dashed.

The Spring I seek is in a new face only.

A living museum must surely see itself as a locus of argument. A breathing art institution is not a lockup but a moveable feast.

Art is the aesthetic ordering of experience to express meanings in symbolic terms.

The United States is not so strong, the final triumph of the democratic ideal is not so inevitable that we can ignore what the world thinks of us or our record.

I guess a lot of times pressure is put on something after it becomes big.

Hatred is nearly always honest--rarely, if ever, assumed. So much cannot be said for love.

Alone we are smart. Together we are brilliant.

I just wanted somebody to tell me that I could sing.