Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

Even so, I think historians have more to offer than perspective on our present woes. The foreign country we call the past also lets us look beyond the horizons of what is, to see what could be.

Namque pauci libertatem, pars magna iustos dominos volunt.(Few men desire freedom, the greater part desire just masters.)

I've never made films for children. That's why children like my films. Nobody wants to be treated as a baby.

He was ordinary in a world that loved the extraordinary.

The universe always gives you what you need to grow into the person you are destined to become.

Maybe no one can know how it is for anyone else.

I had too much respect for the game to leave it behind or to make it my second or third sport in college

All desire springs from a lack, which it strives continually to fill.

Love soothes wounds, while hatred and violence deepen them.