Starting to drink now in preparation for New Years. No more last minute stuff like Christmas.

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

The luxury of relaxation ... is part of the healing process.

Just a perfect day, problems all left alone.

You do not have the right to waste time

As a business person, I want the world to share the prosperity together.

Faithful people have always been in a marked minority.

The best runners every year are those who race out way too fast.

As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

Let's get put in place a better health care system the American people deserve.

I'm a reasonable guy, but I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something, and together we can change the world.