Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

What goes up must come down.

No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.

Be the great person you ought to be.

Magical places are always beautiful and deserve to be contemplated ... Always stay on the bridge between the invisible and the visible.

I guess that the salary that they get when they are working with me is, like, it beats working at McDonalds, so it has got some things going for it.

Wait until companies have an initial prototype, have shown that they have the potential to be profitable and have the ability to scale. That's the best time to invest.

No place better than Indiana on July 4th. Looking forward to a great weekend.

No one promised you there would be universal justice.

Women aren't as mere as they used to be.

Character produces endurance and persistence when the going gets tough, and life truly is an endurance race, not a sprint.