Stay low, stay quiet, keep it simple, don't expect too much, enjoy what you have.

The functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.

The whisper of the dusk is night shedding its husk.

Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.

Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.

Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.

The hands of every clock are shears, trimming us away scrap by scrap, and every time piece with a digital readout blinks us towards implosion.

Most people tend to think the best of those who are blessed with beauty; we have difficulty imagining that physical perfection can conceal twisted emotions or a damaged mind.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am.

The teachers of hell should be sent there first to be able to describe it accurately

To fight against one's desires is the greatest of all fights.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

I will get my education - if it is in home, school, or anyplace.

What is divine? It is simply that which man has not been able to understand. Once you do, it loses its divinity.

Do not debate! is one of my inventions.

Sports are 90% inspiration and 10% perspiration.

Human society needs essntially fellow-feeling and unity. When these two are present, humanness will flourish.

Whatever you are by nature, keep to it; never desert your line of talent. Be what nature intended you for, and you will succeed.

I think the problem with polemics is that it's general and it's lazy. When you say, "This is bad," that's a general thing. We're more interested in asking the question.