Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Cease from envy, prejudice and unhealthy competitiveness. Never abandon your own mission and brand to pursue the seemingly exciting mission or vision of another.

You're free to wear whatever you want, you know

Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do.

Boxing's in my genes. I come from a fighting background. My dad and both my uncles were good boxers. I'm blessed with the art of war.

We must learn which ceremonies may be breached occasionally at our convenience and which ones may never be if we are to live pleasantly with our fellow man.

What is economics? A science invented by the upper class in order to acquire the fruits of the labor of the underclass

I didn't think that wave was going to offer a ton, ... But the wave just held form, and I was able to get a lot out of it.

There is no route out of the maze. The maze shifts as you move through it, because it is alive.

A brave man is seldom unkind.

Even after many years, kata practice is never finished, for there is always something new to be learned about executing a movement.