Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn 'em and share 'em. Then come to the show.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

In an unforgiving world, chaos rules.

The more "things" I have, the more time I spend thinking about them, moving them around, fixing them, looking for them, or upgrading them.

I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.

If you can't go where people are happier, try to make people happier where you are.

Your sound is you & what you really feel inside.

To understand Afghanistan, you have to face the stress the average Afghan deals with.

I didn't know how...deep love ran, how it was in your blood, not your heart, and how that same blood pumped through your veins your whole life.

A wasteful defense is a weak defense.

Abstraction returned as soon as artists tried to come to closer grips with reality than naturalistic representation permitted.

If you're going to change a habit, you must BE the treatment.