Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

Sometime, somewhere, life always comes to a fight, and peace always comes to an end.

It brought a lot of joy to me to be in his arms.

Move by faith and courage

God knows I wanted love... but the moment I had to choose between the man I loved and my dresses... I chose the dresses

I love the road. That's always been my goal. I've said that to many record labels. I want to make records. The road is my favorite. Some people hate the road, I love the road.

To worship the product and ignore its development leads to dilettantism and reaction.

Now is the time for drinking; now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.

True universality does not consist in knowing much but in loving much.

Build your nest in no tree here...for the Lord of the forest has condemned the whole woods to be demolished.

I'm a better editorial cartoonist by default because so many editorial cartoonists out there are so awful.