Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

Begin to write, your heart flow with sacred words.

That's what's wrong with women. They want you to wait for them until they get ready and then they don't even tell you how they feel.

Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great".

Ignorance is the worst liberation. To know even a few is better than knowing nothing at all.

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo no one was there.

If it takes me 10 years to be the musician I want to be, great.

I would warn my brethren and sisters to never flatter persons because of their ability; for they cannot bear it. Self is easily exalted, and in consequence, persons lose their balance.

A good book for an illiterate is a golden ring for a fingerless hand!

Families, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Hello...911? I'd like to report a robbery, looks like Trish and Tomko stole the show!