Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

We swallowed the chaos because we knew we didn't want to be ordinary.

Flexibility is the greatest strength.

My favorite record of all time is Fleetwood Mac's Tusk. It's made up of a bunch of songs that don't really sound the same, but they all go really well together.

Good religious men, with the love of men in their hearts, and the means to pay their toll in their pockets.

You have so many capabilities & potential. Start celebrating the life God has given you!

Our first priority is our kids.

I like pencil skirts because they hug me in all the right places.

It must be that evil communications corrupt good dispositions.

Credit default swap gives you something to do. You can buy some credit default swaps from them to protect yourself against the bankruptcy of people who owe you money.

All Of Us Might Wish At Times That We Lived In A More Tranquil World....(yet) Our Times Are Challenging And Filled With Opportunity.