Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

The KEY to disciplining ourselves in the area of obedience is always keeping in mind to whom we are being obedient.

Writing is not chewing your nails and picking your teeth, but a matter of public interest.

I'm normally drawn to something I haven't done and seen before.

The desert is so vast that no one can know it all. Men go out into the desert, and they are like ships at sea; no one knows when they will return.

If you don't feel good in it, don't wear it. Because it'll never look good. Any hesitation in the fitting room and just walk away

There is no earthly reason why a solo string instrument or voice, having the possibility to play or sing pure intonation, should want, or try, to be tempered.

I've tried to decentralize and interpenetrate so that all parts of a painting are of related value.

I'm not a politician; I am a singer. Long ago, they said, 'That one, she sings politics.' I don't sing politics; I merely sing the truth.

People would say I'm more polished as a passer than Tebow and Cam, but I'm not as physical a runner. But I am 6'2, 223, and I can throw with the best of them.

Words are to be taken seriously. I try to take seriously acts of language. Words set things in motion. I've seen them doing it. Words set up atmospheres, electrical fields, charges.