Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Listen to the whispers or soon you will be listening to the screams.

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.

If you need to find out who is your friend among many, stimulate a resolutive conflict.

Sometimes things that appear completely irreconcilable and mutually exclusive serve a shared purpose that could not be achieved except through their contradiction.

It is such a supreme folly to believe that nuclear weapons are deadly only if they're used.

I think men are allowed to be fat and bald and ugly and women aren't. And it's just not - there is no equality there

Realism is more important than the sentiment of the picture.

Influence is like water. Always flowing somewhere.

Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?

Spiritual transformation is not a matter of trying harder, but of training wisely.