Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."

In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Three women walk into a pub and say, 'Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.

We flew throughout the summer and fall and the start of winter. At first the whiteness gave way to the green of summer, and then gold covered the fields and forests, and then the whiteness again.

I deal with misunderstood aspects of animal behaviour like anxiety and aggression. I teach people how to respect different species and let a dog be a dog.

Do the wise thing and the kind thing too, and make the best of us and not the worst.

As a programmer, it is your job to put yourself out of business. What you do today can be automated tomorrow.

All the girls who have photos of them at parties, like, "Woo!" - that's what someone's going to see of their grandma.

I believe neither the French nor the Dutch really rejected the constitutional treaty.

When you run an organization like the Teamsters one man has to be the boss and run things.

If the people of Comic-Con ruled the world...then tomorrow would be invented every day.

As I understand life at different levels, I can use music to express what these levels feel like to me. Hopefully the listener can be transported to this understanding by listening to the music.