Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Most people just want to be left in peace to eat their bacon, not realising that there is no peace behind bacon.

Giving that is not motivated by love is worth nothing.

He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either.

Our cruel and unrelenting enemy leaves us only the choice of brave resistance, or the most abject submission. We have, therefore, to resolve to conquer or die.

I mean, I love winning, but losing is a much more intense feeling.

A fig for a care, a fig for a woe!

As you advance in life, different passions can take the front seat, so for me, business is where my primary focus is right now.

Self-righteousness is the inevitable fruit of simple moral judgments.

When women act like women, they are accused of being inferior. When women act like human beings, they are accused of behaving like men.

Socialism is inseparably interwoven with totalitarianism and the object worship of the state.