Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Every morning the sun rises to fill your life with magnificent colors and joyful nights.

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.

You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.

This will be my first visit [to Israel]. I've heard it's a special place, that Tel Aviv is exciting and that the atmosphere is excellent....I hope I'll have time to visit the holy places.

Books and minds only work when they're open.

Never be passive. Victories happen when you take charge of a game. You can't win by playing not to lose".

Jet, I can almost remember their funny faces

Make sense who may. I switch off.

Happiness," said he, "must be something solid and permanent, without fear and without uncertainty.

If standing for liberty and the Constitution makes you a Wacko Bird, then count me a proud Wacko Bird.