Success is good for the character.

There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

Sensitive people either love deeply or they regret deeply. There really is no middle ground because they live in passionate extremes.

Our spirit is not dependent on the brain or body. It is eternal, and no one has one sentence worth of hard evidence that it isn’t.

Everything from the little house was in the wagon, except the beds and tables and chairs. They did not need to take these, because Pa could always make new ones.

I will go to my grave seeing the look on your face at the last. Keep it up and you'll go sooner than later.

My religion teaches me that I should, by my personal conduct, instill into the minds of those who might hold different views the conviction that cow killing is a sin.

It's through our expenses that we become richer or poorer, regardless of how much money we make.

Make DV movies so you can learn how to make films, but don't try to distribute them until they are fantastic.

I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry; that is, prose = words in their best order; - poetry = the best words in the best order.

I don't know what kind of swag I'd get if I were extra Irish. It would just be, like, extra potatoes. Or like a free pint of Guinness.

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.