Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75. Walked back out in the street - genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

It is the conversion of time that produces results and products.

Magnus didn't really want this kind of thing this early in the morning - this talk of aching memories and wanting to forget. This conversation needed to end, now.

I like the idea of Warrior Flitwick running to save the day by screaming, "Let's do some charm harm, my snitches!

To Moscow, to Moscow, to Moscow!

You can't demand truth and reconciliation. You have to demand truth - people have to hear it, and then they have to want to reconcile themselves to that truth.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

I have always been a reader; I have read at every stage of my life, and there has never been a time when reading was not my greatest joy

We are tired of aristocratic explanations in Harvard words.

Almost everything is like a machine.

I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.