Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white, or women created for men.

Faith is a term that makes ignorance sound like a virtue

A self-respecting man is a man without a country. A fatherland is birdlime.

I've always said, 'I don't want to be irrelevant.'

It costs us $1 million for every troop[soldier] in Afghanistan.

Sometimes the Lord rides out the storm with us and other times He calms the restless sea around us. Most of all, He calms the storm inside us in our deepest inner soul.

On the professional side, those 18 years on the farm instilled my love for agriculture.

Faith Alone is what really matters.

How're the Broncos doing?" "Like a bunch of carrots." "Is that bad?" "Can carrots play baseball?" "I guess not." "Then you have your answer.

One if the hardest things in life to learn are which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.