Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

Magnificent God.Mighty God.Merciful God.

There were no stars, only the darkness and an arctic chill that had intensified since the first thin, blood-red stripes of sunrise shimmered on the ocean’s horizon.

If you sing a song, you never be sad.

When fear meets fear nothing good ever happens.

If you don't think you've got the blues, just keep living, and if you don't think you're drunk, just keep drinking what you're drinking.

Sportswriters are what make sports great and fun to watch.

Plenty of people want to be pious, but no one yearns to be humble.

Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.

Your ability to survive depends on your attitude

You are a god in the company of gods and must conduct yourself accordingly.