Survival must come before civilization.

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.

Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

The single and most dangerous word to be spoken in business is no. The second most dangerous word is yes. It is possible to avoid saying either.

All friends are not for life, but if you have a true friend, you have a life.

Men are taught to apologise for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

Did I choose you? Did you choose me? And what difference does it make? All that really matters, friend, is that we chose together.

there is no noise louder than a silent phone.

...opportunities typically come disguised as impossible problems. And while most people run away from their problems, Shamgars run at them with their oxgoads.

The middleweight division is one of the most exciting divisions in the sport. Fighters can punch like heavyweights and have the speed of the lightweights. You have the best of world worlds.

Touring is hard on the body.

Learn to be happy in any and all circumstances, whether you're experiencing pleasure or pain, whether there's loss or gain, whether the world loves you or hates you. Learn to be happy.

Of course, the surest way to free yourself from an existential crisis is through comedy.

All of us, whether or not we're celebrities, every one ought to spend part of their life making someone else's life better.

I want to be on that thing that people watch while they're eating a quick dinner before they go out, or to cheer them up. I want to make people laugh every day, if I can.

I'm a guy who tries to be successful in all that I do, and when you fall short, it hurts.

When we withhold the tithe we bring upon ourselves a curse.

A soul is a troublesome possession, and when man developed it he lost the Garden of Eden.